Fake Date
by Snavej
Summary: Yasuhara wants nothing more than to piss off his homophobic parents and Gene is too nice to say no to a classic fake dating trope...


Gene sometimes wondered how he found himself in these situations. His present situation was the result of a conversation that had occurred two days prior.

He had been lounging on his bed, binging a K-drama on Netflix, when his housemate had knocked on the door. He knew exactly which housemate it was too because his brother did not knock and Mai was so loud you could hear her coming from a mile away.

Which left Yasuhara.

Gene and his brother had moved in with Yasuhara and Mai about two years ago. As young professionals, none of them could hope to afford a place of their own and so they shared. But it had worked out well for them; they had become close friends.

"Come in."

Yasuhara entered. Gene looked up, hit the spacebar to pause the K-drama, and appraised his housemate, he looked like a mess. His glasses were askew, his hair all over the place, and his t-shirt had somehow tucked itself into his pyjama bottoms.

"You alright?" Gene asked.

"I need a favour," Yasuhara said, closing the door behind him and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Ooh, that's going to cost you," Gene teased. "What's up?"

"I can't ask any of my workmates, none of them will be able to pull it off," Yasuhara muttered, more to himself than Gene. "You know my parents?"

"Well, no, not personally. But I am aware you have them," Gene replied. "What about them?"

"They want to visit me."

"What?" Gene frowned. "But I thought they hadn't spoken to you since you joined the police? Why do they want to talk to you now?"

Yasuhara groaned. Gene patted the end of his bed and his housemate flopped down onto it.

"My sister is getting married."

"So? I thought she didn't speak to you either?"

"She doesn't. I mean she doesn't hate me but we're just not close," Yasuhara said. "But my parents think I ought to be at the wedding and so they want to make amends. So they want to visit and take me to dinner."

"Right, so what does this have to do with me?"

Yasuhara's cheeks began to redden.

"Please don't be mad," he began.

"When have I ever been mad?"

"You were when Mai stole your Oreos."

"That was a rightful anger, you've yet to do anything," Gene said.

"Yet…" Yasuhara repeated. He sighed. "Well my mother was going on about what I was doing with my life and she got me all wound up and I blurted out that I would be bringing a date."

"Right?"

Yasuhara sighed again.

"And then I hung up and I thought about it and if I take a woman then they won't really care. But if I took a man then… Well, they aren't exactly very accepting people. I think it might piss them off enough that they'd leave me alone for good."

"Okay?" Gene's frown did not fade. "So who are you going to take?"

"All my workmates — and my other friends for that matter — are straight or taken all apart from… You…"

Yasuhara looked down at his feet.

Gene froze. Then he blinked and burst into raucous laughter.

"So you want to fake date your token gay friend to piss off your parents?" Gene asked. "Jeesh, when I came out to you I didn't expect you to use me like this!" He grinned, but his jovial tone had failed to reach Yasuhara.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't've asked," Yasuhara said. "I'll just tell them my date cancelled."

He made to stand up, but Gene grabbed his hand.

"I never said I wouldn't do it! It'll be fun!" He met Yasuhara's eye and grinned. His housemate managed a small smile. "Damn, your parents have really got to you, huh…"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Don't be. This will be fun," Gene repeated. "Do you want me to play act the complete over the top, super camp type gay?"

Yasuhara chuckled.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure you can just be yourself," Yasuhara said. "But we'll have to hold hands and maybe kiss on the cheek or something…"

Gene slapped his hand to his mouth in mock horror.

"Kissing? On the first date? What kind of girl do you take me for?!"

Yasuhara pushed Gene backwards and he fell dramatically down onto his pillows.

"And now you're pinning me down in bed!" Gene cried. "How forward of you!"

"Oh my— Why did I ask you?" Yasuhara muttered.

"Because I am perfect for this, now when do you want to practice kissing?"

"I am leaving."

"You're just going to leave me here? Prostrating myself to all the world?"

"Yes."

Yasuhara got up and, looking a little more cheerful, left Gene's bedroom.

Gene watched him go and only relaxed once the bedroom door was once again shut. He turned over and groaned into his pillow.

Yasuhara was a good looking man — especially in his police officer uniform — and Gene was painfully aware of that fact. He was funny and intelligent and everything Gene wanted in a man.

Apart from being straight.

Gene had wanted to hate him for it. As if that would help him get over his housemate. But he couldn't. How could he hate such a good person?

So they had remained friends. Really good friends.

And now he would have to 'pretend' to be in love with one of his best friends. It wouldn't be hard, at least. Well, acting wouldn't be hard, something else might be though...

He groaned again into his pillow and turned over. He hit the spacebar on his laptop and tried to turn his attention back to the show he had been watching. Five minutes later, he realised that he had failed to take in anything. He shut the browser and grabbed his phone.

 **Gene: You busy?**

 **Noll: Why?**

 **Gene: I need some advice?**

 **Noll: Want me to send Mai?**

 **Gene: No.**

Two minutes later, Oliver entered Gene's bedroom and joined him on the bed.

"Well?"

"Yasuhara's parents who hate him and haven't spoken to him in years want to have dinner with him and he wants me to go as his fake date to piss them off because they'll think we're gay and I agreed but I kind of actually like him and I don't want to take advantage of the situation."

Oliver frowned.

"How would you take advantage of it? If it is just a fake date then—"

"Because I'd have to kiss him and I think I would enjoy it!" Gene hissed.

"So don't do it," Oliver said, shrugging.

"But he needs my help."

"So do it."

"But—"

"Gene, you're going to help him. And you're probably going to enjoy kissing him. Take it as payment for helping him out. It'll be fine. I don't think he'll mind."

"What if it makes things awkward between us though…" Gene moaned, grabbing his pillow and shoving his face into it again.

"Why would it?"

"Well look what happened to you and Mai! You both were weird around each other for a month after the Christmas 'let's trick Mum into leaving you alone' debacle!"

"Yes, because I was being a prat," Oliver said. "Then I listened to some good advice and it all worked out. And we're happy. So listen to your own advice and don't be a prat after it."

"Yes, but you and Mai had had that whole tension thing going for ages and are perfect for each other! But Yasuhara will never be interested in me like that…"

Oliver frowned and shrugged.

"If you say so." He stood up. "Is that all? Mai wants to watch a film and I said I would oblige her."

"What are you watching?"

"Some horror film I think, we can move to the lounge if you want to join us?"

Gene had been about to refuse when he realised he had no attention for anything else.

"Sure, I'd like that. We should ask Yasuhara too, he's had a bad evening with this whole parent fiasco…"

And so twenty minutes later, Mai and Oliver were cuddled up on one sofa, while Yasuhara and Gene were sitting in lone chairs on opposite side of the room. Only Mai actually watched the film. Oliver was napping. Gene was stealing glances at Yasuhara and trying to hide his blush. Yasuhara was just staring into space.

X~X~X

And that was how Gene found himself sprinting from the hospital to the restaurant. He was late. He knew he was late. Every red light possible kept him from crossing roads and reaching his target any sooner.

He did not stop to breathe until he had entered the restaurant and spluttered Yasuhara's name to the waitress. She pointed to the table where he spotted Yasuhara and two people he presumed were his parents.

Taking a deep breath, Gene combed his hair with his fingers and strode forwards.

"Gene!" Yasuhara said, standing up. "Are you okay? I tried phoning you but—"

"I got called into work, I'm so sorry!" Gene said, taking Yasuhara hand and reaching forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Mark's wife went into labour a month early and so he obviously needed to go and they phoned me up and I was supposed to just cover the rest of his shift, but then John was late because his elderly neighbour locked herself out of her bungalow and you know John, he's too nice to not help so I was held behind until he turned up and I've just sprinted this whole way and I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting!"

"It's fine," Yasuhara said, his smile one of obvious relief. "I'm just glad you're here now. Let me introduce my parents."

For a minute, Gene had forgotten Yasuhara's parents.

"This is my father, Joichi, and my mother, Akiko."

Gene shook his parents' hands and beamed.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I hope you weren't waiting too long."

"It was fine," Joichi said stonily. "Shall we?"

They all sat down and Gene hid behind a menu for a minute to regain his composure.

"I haven't been here before, can anyone recommend anything?" he asked. Food. Food was a neutral topic.

"I saw someone else with the lamb when we came in," Yasuhara said, "It smelt wonderful so I might have that…"

"Ooh, I haven't had lamb in ages," Gene said. "I might join you." He sent a winning smile in Yasuhara's direction and tried not to melt at the one Yasuhara sent back.

Neither of Yasuhara's parents said a word until the waiter came to take their orders. Gene saw no reason to make any effort with them and so spoke to Yasuhara instead.

"It was a girl," he said. "Mark's baby. He sent a nurse to tell us all. She's a little small, but otherwise healthy. His wife was doing fine too. He promised to send us all baby pictures soon."

"Did they name her?" Yasuhara asked, also ignoring his parents.

"Not yet, they've been arguing over a name for ages," Gene said. "But they didn't ask for the gender at the ultrasound so that didn't help matters."

"I'm sure they'll get it sorted."

"I'm sure they will. His wife is a lov—"

"Osamu, you did not tell us you were bringing a friend," Akiko interrupted. "I was sure you said you were bringing a date."

Yasuhara gaped at his parents, momentarily dumbfounded. Gene, however, rose to the occasion.

"Just a friend? Is that all I am to you?" Gene asked Yasuhara in mock offence. "You get an awful lot of benefits for just a friend…"

Joichi choked on his drink.

"Mother," Yasuhara said. "Gene is my date."

"But—" Akiko began.

"I'm gay," Gene hastened to explain.

His openness seemed to shock Akiko more than his words.

"Osamu, I thought this 'bi' thing you insisted on meant you still liked women," Joichi said.

This had Gene stunned, but he did his best to hide it by taking a drink. Was Yasuhara actually bi? Or was it a lie that he had told his parents to wind them up?

"It does," Yasuhara stated without any intention to elaborate.

"Then why can't you…" Joichi lowered his voice. "Pick a woman?"

"Wow," Gene said loudly, "It's almost like I'm not here."

"Please stay out of this," Akiko said. "This is a family matter."

"Well, Ya— Osamu is my family so I think that includes me," Gene insisted, the words escaping his mouth before realising how they could be construed.

Akiko's eyes widened in horror. Joichi went pale.

"Gene," Yasuhara began. "I—"

"What does he mean?" Akiko asked. "What does he mean by that?"

Gene mentally swore.

"I just meant that I—"

"We're engaged," Yasuhara blurted.

Gene gulped. This had escalated quickly.

"But he's a man!"

"Why hadn't you told us?"

"Why would I?" Yasuhara asked. "You haven't spoken to me in years! You only care now because people will notice my absence at Kyouka's wedding! She doesn't even want me there."

"Of course she—" Akiko began.

"No, she doesn't. I don't mind that she doesn't. We don't have that kind of relationship."

"Of course you don't," Joichi said. "With the way you're choosing to live your life—"

"Yes, because becoming a detective is a heinous way to live my life!"

"You have a law degree from a top university! Why would you choose to waste your talent like—"

"Waste?" Gene cut in. "Do you know how many people your son has saved? He's worked some bloody horrible child abuse and trafficking cases and saved countless children from terrible fates! And you call that a waste?"

Joichi opened his mouth to argue, but Gene did not let him even start.

"He recently lead an investigation that brought down a paedophile ring! How can you not be proud of that?" He felt his shoulders sag. "From what I'd heard, I thought you were just homophobes or something. But you're actually arseholes. Jeesh, listen to me! Just homophobes! How ridiculous is that?!"

"Gene—" Yasuhara tried to speak and placed a hand on Gene's arm.

"How can you think so lowly of him? I don't know a single person that would say anything against your son. Everyone at his station commends him for working hard!" Gene felt tears rising to his eyes. "How can you do it?"

"I think you ought to leave," Joichi stated.

"If I leave, he's coming with me," Gene said.

"Osamu, please ask your friend to leave."

Gene looked to Yasuhara.

"No."

"What?"

"He's right," Yasuhara said. "I have done nothing wrong and you've acted as if I've become a serial killer or something. This whole idea was a mistake. I'm going home. Come on, Gene."

Gene took Yasuhara's offered hand, and let himself be led from the restaurant. He expected Yasuhara to let go, but he didn't. He held on until they were streets away, then he turned to Gene.

"Sorry."

Gene blinked.

"Sorry for what? I was the one that yelled at your parents! And implied we were getting married, I didn't mean it like that. I meant like we've all lived together for so long that we're like a family but— Oh and the benefits thing! I meant like I leant you books and that shirt that one time and—"

"I'm sorry for asking you to do this in the first place," Yasuhara said, looking at his feet.

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Yasuhara, you're one of my best friends."

They fell silent, just standing together until Gene spoke again.

"Are you really bi?"

Yasuhara frowned.

"Yes?"

"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" Gene asked.

"I thought you knew…"

"What?"

"I thought everyone knew that."

"What? Do they?" Gene asked. "Well, now I feel even worse."

"Why?" Yasuhara's frown deepened.

Gene gulped, looked away and then looked back.

"Because I've had a crush on you for ages and kind of agreed to help you in the hope I would get to kiss you but I thought you were straight and I felt awful about it and now I find out you're bi but just not interested in me like that and that's worse and I should shut up. I should leave. I'll leave."

Before Gene could make good on his word, Yasuhara burst out laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Gene asked, feeling even more insecure than a moment ago. "Yasuhara! Why are yo—"

Yasuhara cut him off by pressing his lips to Gene's.

Gene froze, wide-eyed and Yasuhara broke away.

"You kissed me."

"Well noticed."

"But—"

"But what? I like you, Gene."

Gene's mouth fell open.

"Are you hungry?" Yasuhara asked.

Gene shut his mouth and nodded.

"Then let's go and get something to eat." Yasuhara offered his hand to Gene, who stared at it.

"Like a date?"

"No."

"Oh."

"A date. Not like a date," Yasuhara said.

Gene scowled.

"You sound like Noll."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment, are you coming or not?"

Gene took Yasuhara's hand and grinned.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

 **Author's note: So I wrote this on the train the other day... Didn't manage to write at all on the train today which sucks because usually trains cure my writer's block. Ah well, enjoy and review :) If you want to chat to me about fandom please don't hestitate!**


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